Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Greatest Gift

While looking ahead at the coming year, I'm aware of much of my energy taken up, caught up, stuck in, holding onto an old way of being. This way included but was not limited to: being hurt, invalidated, talked about unkindly, and competed with fiercely. Waaahhh!

So I am planning to give a great gift to myself this season. The greatest gift I can think of. It won't cost me a dime, and will help me reclaim much of my energy, healing myself in the process. It'll also clear out a lot of the cobwebs that have been collecting in my space.

As I give this gift to myself, I will also be giving it to others. Killing two birds with one stone, as the saying goes. Some of them may never know I am giving them a gift, because shhh, it's really for me! Selfish?

What is this valuable gift, this amazing substance? Forgiveness. Forgiving myself first, for everything, for not being perfect, for being a sometimes ornery stubborn impatient cranky insecure thoughtless HUMAN. Jeez Louise, am I ever wrong sometimes! (Who's Louise, and why does her name often begin with 'Jeez'?)

Then forgiving others: my mean 3rd grade teacher, ex's, (none of mine live in Texas), people who have decided I am so nasty wrong and evil, George Bush, (yes, even him), anyone who ever lied to me... the list could be endless. but I am deciding to end it, because I want to move on from holding onto all this crap.

I saw an amazing documentary a year ago, 'Forgiving Dr. Mengele'. It is the story of a Jewish woman who was sent, as a child, with her twin sister, to Auschwitz. Dr. Josef Mengele was the Nazi doctor who performed cruel experiments on twins in that camp. This documentary is the story of how she decided many years later to forgive the Nazis, including Dr. Mengele. And she clearly states that she did it for herself. She goes on to say that the pain in her body went away, and she healed her life in a big way. The most interesting thing she experienced from doing this is the wrath of some other survivors. Some of them were just angry, how dare she forgive the Nazis?? She has gone on speaking tours, and held forgiveness rallies at Auschwitz and other camps. She is inspiring, and I highly recommend seeing this film. If one woman who experienced unbelievable cruelty at the hands of vicious humans can forgive, why not each of us?

I'll leave you with a song:

Miracle Cure
©Luka Bloom

When all the fighting is done
Forgiveness
When all the blood has run
Forgiveness
The opening fist
Brings forgiveness
A wounded hand to kiss
Forgiveness

It's the wonderdrug
It's the miracle cure
It could change our world
Make our lives secure
I take my chance at each abyss
And reach for my forgiveness

The moment the words cut in
Forgiveness
The moment anger begins
Forgiveness
In the light of a new day
Forgiveness
I hope you'll have your say
Forgiveness

Together we grow
Together we know
No losers, no winners
In forgiveness
Together we're free
Together we see
No right or no wrong
In forgiveness

It's the wonderdrug
It's the miracle cure
It could change our world
Make our lives secure
I take my chance at each abyss
And reach for my forgiveness

"Heart of Gold" 1996 32"x25"

2 comments:

Neda said...

It is only through forgiveness than we can be free, right? a tall order but a really important commitment. My question is, though: how do we forgive ourselves?! Still mulling over that one (wish I had some fragrant spices to go along with my simmering :)

Kris Cahill said...

I find it the hardest to forgive myself too. I can let go of major stuff with others, but I still have a ways to go with me.

I like your mulling in fragrant spices picture!